


First choice

by a_Kabby_k



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Tumblr Prompt, post city of light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-12 14:38:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7938382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_Kabby_k/pseuds/a_Kabby_k
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: "could I ever be anyone's first choice?" "You were always my first choice"</p>
            </blockquote>





	First choice

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the wait ! It’s not exactly what you asked for but I couldn’t imagine Abby nor Marcus asking out loud for something like that so I kept the idea but it’s different. I hope you like it even so.
> 
> Thank you to @tinkbooklover for her correction !!! <3
> 
> Sequel to “The calm after the storm”

Soon after the daylight, one of the warriors who were standing guard at the door finally knocked. Marcus let out a whimper as Abby immediately escaped from his embrace and ran toward the door. She stopped just the time to put her robe back in place and then opened the door.

«Can I go back to work now?», she asked stubbornly with a little hint of impudence in her voice.

The warrior nodded in answer and then stepped aside to let a young woman pass. She was holding a pile of clothes in her arms which Abby recognized as their.

«Gaf bida sis au?» the woman shyly asked with a bow.

Abby frowned a second then gave to the warrior an interrogative look.

«Need some help?» he translated coldly.

«Oh no thank you,» Abby immediately answer with a sweet smile toward the grounder woman.

The latter looked up at the warrior who shook his head.

«Ait,» the woman said quietly as she handed her the clothes before turning around and disappearing in the corridor.

«Wanheda said there is food for you two in the medical bay,» the warrior informed her before starting to close the door.

«Where is my daughter?» Abby hastened to ask as she held the door open.

«Wanheda is mourning the dead. She asked not to be disturbed,» he answered with a hard look.

Abby parted her lips to ask him where she can find her but while the first word was about to leave her mouth she felt a hand lay on her shoulder.

«Mochof Elios,» Marcus said to the warrior with a grateful nod.

Elios lowered his head in return and then left them alone.

Marcus could see the irritation on Abby’s face. He knew that she didn’t like to know her daughter was upset, like the good mother she was, but he also knew that the young woman needed some time alone.

«She’s strong. She’s gonna be okay. She just needs some time for herself,» he tried to reassured her, his fingers tightened a little on her shoulder.

Abby stared at him, considering his words but then he saw her gaze soften.

«You’re right,» she admitted before reaching for his embrace.

Marcus automatically wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pressed his lips against the top of her head.

«It’s just…I don’t like to leave her alone,» she said quietly against his bare and strong chest.

«I know,» he murmured against her hair as one of his hand gently stroked her back.  

The embrace didn’t last long because after less than a minute Abby handed him his clothes and then started to dress.

When she was ready, he just had time to steal her a last quick kiss on the lips before she left the room. Her absence immediately made his heart tighten in his chest. The memories of what had happened the last few days started to invade his thought again and without her by his side it was hard to fight them.

He put on his jacket and then sat up on the bed to tie his shoes. Once done he buried his head in his hands and for the first time in his life, he felt useless. He didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t a doctor. He wasn’t the kind of person to whom people wanted to speak about their feelings. And he felt as if he couldn’t be a leader anymore. He had betrayed his people. By taking the chip he had given up on them. Of course, he didn’t regret his choice, he would never regret saving Abby’s life. If he had to do it all over again he would have done exactly the same thing, without any hesitation. Abby came first now and it will always be the same until he died. Nonetheless, he couldn’t help but think that a good leader had to put his people first, despite all the sacrifice it could cost him. « _Old habits die hard_ ,» he thought bitterly as Jaha’s words were coming back to his mind. « _You have a strength that is not weakened by sentiment_ », he had told him once. At that time it must have been true but now, now he wasn’t that man anymore and he didn’t want to be him again. That Marcus was dead. He had been killed the day they landed on earth. He had been killed by the beauty of the landscape. He had been killed by the shadows of the three hundred and twenty souls who weren’t there to see it. He had been killed by the contagious hope and love of Abby Griffin. In the back of his mind he wondered if he would have done the same thing for anyone else. He wished he would, because she would have and she had done it with Raven but he couldn’t be sure. After all, he had let Lincoln sacrifice himself to save his people, to save the many. He knew what was going to happen but he had let him do it. If it had been Abby, if she had been about to sacrifice herself to save their people he knew that he wouldn’t have let her do it. He would have took her with him, even if it would have meant to knock her out. Abby’s death was now unthinkable, impossible, out of the question. After all she had lost, after all the risks she had taken, after all the pain she had endure, Abigail Griffin deserved to stay alive! « _After everything we’ve done, do we even deserve to survive?_ » he heard her voice in his mind. « _You deserve it! You deserve it more than anyone,_ » he mentally answered her.

He didn’t know how long he stayed there, blaming himself for everything he had or hadn’t done but suddenly a knock at the door made him come back to reality.

«Yes,» he said but his voice was so hoarse that he had to clear his throat.

«Yes,» he repeated more clearly this time.

The door opened and he was surprised to discover the identity of the visitor.

«Hi !» Clarke greeted him with a soft, embarrassed voice, in the doorway.  

«Hi !Your mom is at the medical bay,» Marcus informed her.

«Okay…but I wasn’t looking for her,» she said as she stepped inside and closed the door behind her before resting her back against it.

«I need to talk to you,» she said after a few seconds.

Marcus let out a sight and stand back up.

«If it’s about Jaha, be sure that it won’t hap…»he started but he didn’t have time to finish his sentence because Clarke shook her head.

«It’s not about Jaha,» she cut him off before taking a deep breath and then walking toward him.

Marcus looked at her but she remained quiet. She ran a hand through her hair and then sat up on the couch.

«Please sit,» she offered him as she pointed the armchair in front of her.

Marcus nodded and did what she asked. He didn’t stop looking at her but she seemed to avoid his gaze. Something was wrong. He already had had a presentiment the previous day but now he knew he had been right. She was about to reveal him something and it won’t be something good.

«I trust you,» she finally said as she established eyes-contact for the fist time since she arrived in the room.

Marcus nodded in answer but he chose to stay quiet and let her speak.

«I always have,» she added as a sad smile seemed to appear on her lips.

For some seconds she seemed to be lost in thought as she was now looking through the window.

«Do you remember this day when you found me in the launderette of Alpha station?», she asked as her smile seemed to grow up a little.

He nodded briefly but she still wasn’t looking at him.

«Yes. Yes I do,» he answered with a frown because he didn’t know where she was coming from.

«I was upset because Mike Benett had told me that we’ll never go to earth, that our parents were lying,» she explained in a monotonous tone.

Once again Marcus nodded. He remembered how every parent was lying to their child about the earth, about the transitional generation, about their life. It wasn’t a common plan but as far as he could remember it had always been like this. The parents told their child that one day everybody would go back to earth. It was like if they wanted to give them a future to hold on to, to give them hope in a reality where no one could be floated for stealing food or medical supplies. He had never agreed on that. For him, giving false hope like this was sadistic. He’ll never be able to forget the day where he had discovered the truth and the way he had felt betrayed and angry at everyone. He was eight and he had wished that he had never been born.

«Mum and dad told me that we couldn’t know what was going to happen but I knew it was another lie. You found me crying in the launderette and you were the only one who told me the truth,» she kept talking with a more serious face this time.

«It had cost me two weeks of reproach from your mother,» he said with a hint of nostalgic amusement in his voice.

«Sorry for that,» she replied with a gentle smile.

This time, Marcus succeeded to catch her eyes but a second later she seemed to be lost in thought once again.

«Clarke, what do you really want to talk to me about? I don’t want to push you but we both know that you aren’t here to talk about the past,» he finally said, trying to not sound too pressing.

«Yes. Yes, I’m not but…can I ask you a question?» she asked, visibly nervous.

«Of course,» he answered honestly.

«Why… Why didn’t want you to tell the truth about the Ark?», she asked seriously.

Marcus swallowed hard and he couldn’t help but lowered his gaze.

«Clarke I…,» he started to speak, ready to apologize but she cut him off.

«It’s just a question, not a reproach,» she informed him with a gentle voice.

Marcus nodded and took a deep breath.

«I didn’t want to risk anarchy. When people are about to die they can become out of control. I always thought that we would be able to find a way to save some of us, not everyone, but some of us. I thought that if everybody knew we wouldn’t be able to prevent them from doing something stupid, like using all our supplies or killing each other. I really wanted to save my people but I didn’t have faith in them. And the truth is that I was wrong,» he explained shamefully.

«So you regret not telling them the truth?» she asked, staring at him.

«Yes,» he answered without any hesitation.

The young woman nodded and remained quiet for a while. She seemed to be considering what he had said.

«Clarke I…I’ve never told you but I’m sorry for your father and I’m sorry for having locked you up,» Marcus apologized before biting his lower lips, nervously.

Clarke looked up at him and then shook her head.

«I never blamed you for that. You thought you were doing the right thing. Nobody could have known what was going to happen. To be true, I blamed Wells. I think I blamed him because it was easier than blaming my own mother. You know I blamed him like she blamed you instead of Jaha. We were wrong, both of us,» she told him in a reassuring voice.

Marcus felt his heart tightened in his chest at the mention of Abby. Clarke wasn’t blind, he knew that she was aware of the change between them. She had locked them up in the same room, it couldn’t be a coincidence. But still, he couldn’t help but be a little afraid of her reaction.

«I’m glad she has you !» she added warmly.

Again Marcus swallowed hard. The guilt seemed to flood his heart again and he had to close his eyes a second to remain composed.

«I failed her ! I let her behind and then I put your life and those of everyone else in danger,» he said with a lump in his throat.

«But I… I couldn’t…I couldn’t let him kill her…,» he finally found the strength to finish his sentence.

An unexpected smile lightened Clarke’s face as she stared at him with a kindness he didn’t understand.

«That’s what I’m saying. I’m glad she has you,» she said again, tears shining in her eyes.

«I’m glad that, for once, she is someone first choice. I mean, her parents were executed because they embezzled medical supplies for the non-essentials workers. Dad is dead because he thought that people should know the truth about the Ark. And I was ready to let her hang herself to save everybody…But you…You Marcus… You took the chip to save her life. You took the chip because, for you, she comes first ! And I’ll never be able to thank you enough for that !», she explained with gratefulness.

Marcus felt tears spring to his eyes but he held them back and pressed his lips together. Hearing this kind of things from the daughter of the woman he loved was unexpected and it warmed up his heart.

«She will always come first,» he assured her with a tone which sounded like a vow.

Clarke bent forward a little and put her hand on his to squeeze his fingers lightly. She was about to speak again but a sob cut her off. Both of them immediately looked up at the door and Marcus saw Abby standing in the doorway, her hands on her mouth and tears rolling down her cheeks.

All of them remained quiet for a while as Abby’s eyes were traveling from her daughter’s face to Marcus’. Finally, it was Clarke who made the first step. She stood up and walked toward her mom to took her in her arms.

«I’m sorry,» he heard the young woman said with a lump in her throat.

«Don’t be honey !You did the right thing !», Abby told her back with a voice shaking with sobs.

Marcus lowered his gaze. He felt like he was intruding as the two woman were murmuring some loving words to each other. He wondered if he should give them some time alone but when he was about to stand up, they broke their embrace and Clarke kissed her mother cheek.

«I talk to you later,» she said to Marcus before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.

  


«I love you,» the words escaped Abby’s mouth so quickly that for a second Marcus wondered if he had imagined it.

She was standing in front of the door, her arms by her sides, tears running once again along her cheeks. At first, she seemed surprised by her own words as much as he was, but then, her face became more confident.

«I love you,» she repeated, this time, slower and clearer.

Marcus felt his blood ran cold in his veins but his heart seemed to catch fire in his chest. He remained quiet, unable to speak, unable to move. He just looked at her, his mouth half-opened and wild-eyed. It wasn’t just the words and their meaning, it was, above all, the fact they came from her lips. Honestly, he knew that she had feelings for him, he knew it because the « _I can’t do this again_ » wasn’t something she would have said lightly. He knew what she was really saying with that sentence. He was aware of what it really meant for her but nonetheless, hearing those three little words for real was still something unexpected and unbelievable for him. Except from his mother, Marcus Kane had never heard this words.

«Marcus please, say something, anything because I…,» she said after a few seconds before hiding her face in her hands like if she suddenly felt ashamed or if she regretted to have said it.

«I love you,» the words came out from the depths of his throat.

« I love you more than anything,» he added eagerly without any hesitation.

A bright smile stretched up slowly Abby’s lips even with the tears were still running down her cheeks.  

«I wanted to tell you last night but…I…I think I was afraid that it wasn’t the right time…I heard what Clarke was saying to you and what you said and…I never asked to be someone first choice. It would have been selfish but you said what you said and that’s, with no doubt, the most beautiful thing that someone has never say about me…» she said, her voice shaking with sobs.

«God Abby…,» he breathed as he jumped from his chair and ran toward her.

Without a second he took her in his arms and hold her. He cradled her against his chest with all his strength, with all his love.

«I meant it, Abby ! Oh god, I meant it ! You will always come first,» he murmured against her hair as he felt her tears moisten the skin of his neck.

«Thank you,» she breathed before softly kissing his shoulder.

«Thank you for loving me like this,» she added as she melted even more into his embrace.

«Always,» he swore, his arms tightened around her shaking body.

«Always,» he repeated as a promise to her, to Clarke, to Jake.  


End file.
